School Jokes for Kids

What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium and you can't curium, you barium.

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick.

What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.

My teacher says I'm average. I think that's mean.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!

Why did the teacher cross her eyes? She couldn't control her pupils.

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

I told my teacher I was sick of fractions. She said that's only half the problem.

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

Why did the skeleton feel lonely? It had no body!

Why did the photon check no luggage? It was traveling light.

How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.

Why can't a nose be 12 inches? Because then it would be a foot!

Why did the neutron get a free drink? There was no charge.

Why did the plant win the school award? It was out-standing in its field!

Why did the novel break up with the magazine? Too many issues.

What's the fastest liquid on Earth? Milk, because it's pasteurized before you see it.

What fruit contains barium and double sodium? Banana.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.

Why did the witch do well in English? She was great at spelling.

Why did the germ go to school? To become a little culture.

What did one tectonic plate say when it bumped the other? Sorry, my fault.

I told my sister she was adopted. She said 'I know, they chose me. You were an accident.'

What do you call a pig that studies? Hamlet.

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it's pointless.

Why are bacteria so bad at math? They multiply by dividing.

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.

What did the eraser say to the pencil? You make a lot of mistakes, but I got your back.

Why did the librarian slip on ice? She was in the non-friction section.

Knock knock. Who's there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O.

Why did the calendar fail math? Its days were numbered.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think R, but it's really the C.

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? You may be tall but I have more degrees.

What did the tree say to the wind? Leaf me alone.

How do you organize a space party? You planet.

Why did the principal go to the eye doctor? To improve her pupils!

What do you call a backpack that sings? A carry-oke.