Daily Joke Texts for Kids

Why don't zombies eat clowns? They taste funny.

Why did the witch do well in English? She was great at spelling.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

What do you call a piano that falls down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

What do you call Batman's dog? The Bark Knight.

Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're all dead!

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.

What do you call a jack-in-the-box at breakfast? A pop tart.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

What do you call a firefly that can't glow? Delighted.

My wife asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

What fruit contains barium and double sodium? Banana.

My teacher says I'm average. I think that's mean.

Why did the skeleton feel lonely? It had no body!

Why do Christmas trees like the past? The present is beneath them.

How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.

What do you call cheese by itself? Provolone.

I played golf today. I shot a birdie, an eagle, and a moose. I'm not allowed back at the zoo.

Why do bands have so many problems? Too much sax and violins.

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick.

What do you call Spider-Man's side hustle? A web developer.

What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.

I told my toddler to act her age. She had a meltdown. Fair enough.

What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you're sure you've been to before? Déjà brew.

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What did you think I was going to say?

I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.

Why are dolphins so clever? Within three hours they can train a human to stand and throw fish.

Why did the art student fail the test? She drew a blank.

What do you call a potato that's afraid to jump in the pool? A hesi-tater.

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!

Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in public.

A book fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame.

Why did the bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.

What's the fastest liquid on Earth? Milk, because it's pasteurized before you see it.

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank coffee before it was cool.

What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hare line.

What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent.

What's a potato's favorite horror movie? Silence of the Yams.

Why did the grass get an award? It was outstanding in its field.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles with my coffee. My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.

What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two.

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize.

The horse stayed up too late. Now he's a nightmare.

What did one tectonic plate say when it bumped the other? Sorry, my fault.

What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeño business.

What do you call a baby who sleeps through the night? Someone else's.

What do you call a zoo with one dog? A shih tzu.

What do you call a dad joke that isn't funny? A faux pa!