Animal Jokes for Kids
Silly enough that they will repeat them all day.
What do you call a cat in a hat? Dr. Seuss's intellectual property.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
Why did the cat put the letter M in the freezer? To turn ice into mice.
How do you make an octopus laugh? With ten-tickles.
What do you call a bear with no ears? B.
Dogs can't operate MRI machines. But catscan.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
I named my pig Ink. He keeps running out of the pen.
Why couldn't the pony sing? She was a little horse.
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk!
Why did the chicken get detention? For using fowl language!
Why are puppies bad at poker? They wag when they have a good hand.
Why did the octopus beat the shark? Because it was well-armed.
Why did the frog take the bus? His car got toad.
How early does a duck wake up? At the quack of dawn.
I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.
Why do zebras have stripes? So they don't get spotted.
What do you call a cow that's just given birth? De-calf-inated!
What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.
Why did the bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
Why was the dog walking on the treadmill? Because he was a little husky.
Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them.
Why did the snake lose its case? It didn't have a leg to stand on.
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry? A: Because they're always stuffed!
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? Irrelephant.
What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygon.
My parrot died today. His last words were, 'I think my parrot is dying.'
Why do elephants have wrinkly skin? Have you ever tried to iron one?
What do you call an owl magician? Hoo-dini.
What do you call a moose working undercover? An anony-moose.
Why did the cow win an award? She was outstanding in her field.
Why don't ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-ibodies.
Why don't cows wear shoes? Because they lactose.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers.
I named my dog 'Five Miles' so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 24 carrots.
The horse stayed up too late. Now he's a nightmare.
My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got so bad I had to take his bike away.
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