Animal Jokes for Kids

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.

Why did the cat put the letter M in the freezer? To turn ice into mice.

Why don't crabs share their toys? They're too shellfish!

What do you call a bear with no ears? B.

Dogs can't operate MRI machines. But catscan.

Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.

I named my pig Ink. He keeps running out of the pen.

A fish swam into a wall and said 'Dam!'

I named my dog 'Five Miles' so I can say I walk Five Miles every day.

Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk!

What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? A maybe.

Why are puppies bad at poker? They wag when they have a good hand.

What do you call a parrot that flew away? A polygon.

Why did the frog take the bus? His car got toad.

Where do mice park their boats? At the hickory dickory dock.

I asked my dog what's two minus two. He said nothing.

What do you call a train carrying gum? A chew chew train.

Why couldn't the pony sing? She was a little horse.

What do you call a snake that bakes? A pie-thon.

Why did the bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.

Why was the dog walking on the treadmill? Because he was a little husky.

Why did the chicken get detention? For using fowl language!

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? Irrelephant.

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater.

Why did the spider go to school? To improve its web design.

Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.

My parrot died today. His last words were, 'I think my parrot is dying.'

Why do elephants have wrinkly skin? Have you ever tried to iron one?

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

Why did the octopus beat the shark? Because it was well-armed.

Why did the cow win an award? She was outstanding in her field.

Why don't ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-ibodies.

Why don't cows wear shoes? Because they lactose.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers.

Knock knock. Who's there? Cow says. Cow says who? No silly, cow says moo!

Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 24 carrots.

The horse stayed up too late. Now he's a nightmare.

My dog used to chase people on a bike. It got so bad I had to take his bike away.