Dad Jokes Delivered Daily — Because You Deserve Better Material
Fresh, groan-worthy dad jokes texted to you every day. Never recycle the same joke twice.
Free Dad Jokes to Tell
Copy any of these to tell or share yourself — or get a fresh, personalized one texted straight to you every day.
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hare line.
What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't helium and you can't curium, you barium.
A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders 1 beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 999999 beers. Orders -1 beers. Orders a lizard.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
What do you call a dog magician? A Labracadabrador.
What do you call Santa's little helpers? Subordinate clauses!
What do you call a firefly that can't glow? Delighted.
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear Sir, your account is overdue.
What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two.
A programmer's wife says: 'Go to the store and get milk. If they have eggs, get a dozen.' He returns with 12 milks.
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat? If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat.
Why don't koalas count as bears? They don't meet the koalafications!
What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare.
What do you call a flying pancake? An unidentified frying object.
My teacher says I'm average. I think that's mean.
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