Be the Funny Grandparent

Q: What's aging gracefully? A: Falling slowly.

Why do grandparents and grandkids get along? Common enemy.

What do you call someone excited about a new mattress? Over 40.

Old age: when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

I'm so old, I remember when the Dead Sea was just sick.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Why did the man bring a ladder to the bar? He heard drinks were on the house.

I used to be cool. Now I'm just room temperature.

What do you call reading glasses you can never find? Specs-tacularly lost.

What do you call gray hair sneaking in? A silver lining.

What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.

Q: What's aging? A: When getting lucky means finding your car in the lot.

What do you call a nap at fifty? Physical therapy.

You know you're old when 'sleeping around' means napping in different rooms.

Q: Why don't seniors play hide and seek? A: Nobody wants to hide that long.

I used to party until 2 AM. Now I pee at 2 AM.

At my age, 'getting lucky' means walking into a room and remembering why.

I used to have a six-pack. Now I have a keg. Better value honestly.

Why did the old man fall in the well? He couldn't see that well.

Why do old people read the Bible more? Cramming for finals.

I childproofed my house but they still get in.