Daily Jokes for Teams

My boss asked if home has too many distractions. I said hold on, my toast just popped.

My coworker assigns action items the way I make New Year's resolutions: loudly, publicly, and never again.

What do you call an all-hands at 4pm Friday? Hostage negotiation.

Why did the remote worker's long-distance relationship end? Connection issues.

Nothing unites a remote team like watching one guy talk for ten minutes before realizing he's muted.

What do you call eight hours of video calls? A face transplant.

Why did the meeting end early? Just kidding, that never happens.

We're 'one big family,' my boss said, which explains why I'm overworked, underpaid, and not allowed to leave.

What do you call 'let's parking lot that'? Professional ghosting.

What do you call a meeting with no video? A podcast nobody asked for.

What do you call a meeting with decisions? Science fiction.

Q: What's a WFH promotion? A: More emails, same pajamas.

My cat walked across the keyboard and emailed the whole team gibberish. Two people replied 'great point.'

I've been muted so long the team thinks I have great listening skills.

What do you call someone who joins every call on time? New.

We had a whole meeting to align, and by the end we were perfectly aligned on needing another meeting.

When you say let's circle back, where do you go? Anywhere but back.

Why did the email attend the meeting? To prove it could have handled this alone.

Why did the laptop go to therapy? Too many unresolved tabs.

Why do remote workers love Slack? It's the only place slacking counts as working.

What's the difference between a meeting and an email? Ninety minutes.

Every all-hands ends with 'any questions,' a phrase scientifically engineered to end all questions.

What do you call a meeting with no action items? A support group.

Why did my pajama pants get promoted? Three years of perfect attendance.

Why did the meeting run long? Someone asked if there were any questions.

What's the difference between a meeting and a hostage situation? Snacks.

Somewhere a man has been on mute for nine minutes, and his coworkers have never been happier.

What do you call 'quick sync'? A 45-minute lie.

Q: What's the hardest WFH task? A: Looking busy on camera doing nothing.

My calendar looks like Tetris if Tetris hated you.

What do you call a meeting without an agenda? Hostage situation.

What do you call a meeting with no decisions made? Practice for tomorrow's meeting.

The interviewer asked about my background, so I panicked and switched it from a beach to a bookshelf.

What do you call a call with bad WiFi? Robot karaoke.

What do you call a standup that lasts an hour? A sitdown.

Why was my last presentation so well received? I was on mute the whole time.

Q: What's the scariest sound on Zoom? A: 'You're still on mute' after a 2-minute explanation.