Food Jokes That Are Good Enough to Eat
Snacks, dinner, and everything in between.
What did the mayo say when the fridge opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
What's my most reliable kitchen timer? The smoke alarm.
What do you call a nervous pickle? A dill-emma.
Who invented splitting the bill evenly? Someone who had just ordered the lobster.
What do you call a nut that sneezes? A cashew.
What do you call a nosy pepper? Jalapeño business.
Why did the milk go to art school? To become cultured.
Why are potatoes good detectives? They keep their eyes peeled!
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
Why did the lemon fail the test? It couldn't concentrate.
Why did the raisin go out with the prune? Because it couldn't find a date.
What do you call a baker who quits? A deserter.
Why did the donut maker retire? He was fed up with the hole thing.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling.
Celery is the nosiest vegetable. It stalks everyone.
Why shouldn't you share secrets in the produce aisle? The corn has ears and the potatoes have eyes.
What do you call a sad coffee? A depresso.
Why did the restaurant on the moon close down? Great food, but no atmosphere.
How does a train eat? It goes chew, chew
What do you call an avocado that's been blessed? Holy guacamole!
What's a balanced diet? A cookie in each hand.
Knock knock. Who's there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
What do you call a magical lemon? Sublime!
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.
What's a potato's favorite horror movie? Silence of the Yams.
Why did the mushroom get invited to parties? Because he's a fungi.
What do you call a pea that falls off your plate? An esca-pea.
What's the only dish I've truly mastered? Reservations.
What do you call a flying pancake? An unidentified frying object.
What do you call cheese by itself? Provolone.
Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hare line.
My oven has two modes: cold and cremation.
Why did the cherry go out with the banana? It found it a-peeling.
Knock knock. Who's there? Nacho. Nacho who? Nacho business!
Why did the peanut call the police? It was a-salted.
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