Clean Work Jokes for the Office (That Won’t Get You in Trouble)
Safe for the team channel, and still worth posting.
What do you call a call with bad WiFi? Robot karaoke.
Nothing unites a remote team like watching one guy talk for ten minutes before realizing he's muted.
What do you call 'let's parking lot that'? Professional ghosting.
What do you call a meeting without an agenda? Hostage situation.
What do you call a meeting with no video? A podcast nobody asked for.
When you say let's circle back, where do you go? Anywhere but back.
Why did the laptop go to therapy? Too many unresolved tabs.
My calendar looks like Tetris if Tetris hated you.
What do you call a meeting with no decisions made? Practice for tomorrow's meeting.
What do you call eight hours of video calls? A face transplant.
What do you call a standup that lasts an hour? A sitdown.
Somewhere a man has been on mute for nine minutes, and his coworkers have never been happier.
What do you call a meeting with no action items? A support group.
What do you call someone who joins every call on time? New.
What do you call 'quick sync'? A 45-minute lie.
We had a whole meeting to align, and by the end we were perfectly aligned on needing another meeting.
My coworker assigns action items the way I make New Year's resolutions: loudly, publicly, and never again.
What do you call a meeting with decisions? Science fiction.
What do you call an all-hands at 4pm Friday? Hostage negotiation.
Why did the brainstorm have a parking lot? For all the ideas they drove away from.
We're 'one big family,' my boss said, which explains why I'm overworked, underpaid, and not allowed to leave.
What's the difference between a meeting and a hostage situation? Snacks.
Q: What's a WFH promotion? A: More emails, same pajamas.
Every all-hands ends with 'any questions,' a phrase scientifically engineered to end all questions.
I've been muted so long the team thinks I have great listening skills.
Why did the meeting end early? Just kidding, that never happens.
Q: What's the scariest sound on Zoom? A: 'You're still on mute' after a 2-minute explanation.
Why did the meeting run long? Someone asked if there were any questions.
Why did the email attend the meeting? To prove it could have handled this alone.
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